Real News Tribune

Finance: Bitcoin - The Beanie Baby Of 2018

Asheville, NC – With his head resting in his hands, male nurse, Reagin Jones sighed at the prospect of once again losing his life savings on what was described to him as, “not 100%, but pretty damn close to a safe bet for financial security.” As Bitcoin stocks plummeted, Reagin could not help but remember his first disaster in the trading game. “When I was 9, Ty Beanie Babies were all the rage, and my grandmother got me one step closer to retirement each time a birthday or present deserving holiday came around,” he said in between dry heaves and stifling tears. At press time, Reagin’s mood had shifted after a hearing a report that baseball cards were making a comeback.   

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